Theater Etiquette (Part 1 of 2)

One of my favorite things about community theater is seeing new faces walk through our doors. New audience members, new volunteers, new actors, and sometimes people experiencing live theater for the very first time. So every once in a while, it seems worth revisiting a subject that isn't terribly exciting, but really does make a difference: theater etiquette.

Going to a live performance is a little different from going to the movies. At a movie, the performance has already happened. The actors can't hear your phone ring, notice you getting up, or see the glow from your screen. Their work has been captured through multiple takes, camera angles, editing, and all sorts of movie magic.

Live theater is different.

The people onstage are performing right in front of you, in real time. There is no rewind button and no second take. Every performance happens once, with that particular group of actors and that particular audience, and then it is gone. That's part of what makes theater so wonderful. It also means that the audience is part of the experience. Your laughter, applause, gasps, and even that wonderful silence when everyone is completely absorbed in a scene can affect the energy in the room. Actors feel it. Other audience members feel it. So, how can we all help make that shared experience a great one?

Give yourself a little extra time.

Nobody plans to be late. Parking happens. Babysitters happen. The person in front of you decides that this is the moment to drive 12 miles under the speed limit. But once a performance begins, seating late arrivals can be tricky. Depending on the theater and the production, you may need to wait for an appropriate break in the action before being seated. In some theaters, late seating isn't possible at all until intermission. It isn't meant as a punishment. Opening a door, walking through a darkened theater, searching for seats, and asking an entire row to stand can pull dozens of people out of the world the actors have just worked to create. Give yourself enough time to park, pick up your tickets, visit the restroom, grab something from concessions, find your seat, and settle in. It's a much nicer way to begin the evening anyway.

Let your phone enjoy the show quietly, too.

This is probably the biggest change in theater etiquette since I first started writing about the subject. Our phones have become such a constant part of our lives that we sometimes don't even notice how often we look at them. Inside a dark theater, though, everyone notices. A ringing phone is obviously distracting, but so is a glowing screen. Even on silent, checking a text, scrolling through a notification, or answering a quick message can light up several rows around you. And unless the theater specifically tells you otherwise, please don't photograph or record the performance. Performance rights and licensing agreements frequently restrict photography and recording, and the rules vary by production. More importantly, holding up a phone can distract the performers and the people sitting around you. So before the lights go down, silence the phone, tuck it away, and give yourself permission to be unavailable for a couple of hours. The rest of the world will almost certainly survive.

Beware the surprisingly powerful cough-drop wrapper.

There is some mysterious law of acoustics that makes a tiny candy wrapper approximately 700 times louder inside a quiet theater. If you know you're going to want a cough drop or piece of candy during the performance, unwrap it beforehand. The people around you will silently thank you. And if you do need one unexpectedly, that's okay. Just try to open it as quietly as you can. We're theater people, not monsters.

React to the show. Just don't compete with it.

A good audience doesn't have to sit perfectly still and silently. Please laugh. Applaud. Gasp. Cry. Respond. That exchange of energy between the audience and the performers is one of the things that makes live theater special. Conversation, however, is another matter. Even whispered conversations can carry surprisingly well in a theater. If you need to say something that can wait, save it for intermission. And during musicals, resist the temptation to sing along unless the performers invite you to. We love that you know every word. We really do. But the person sitting beside you bought a ticket to hear the people onstage sing it. You can absolutely give your own Tony Award-winning performance in the car on the way home.

Remember the people behind you.

Sightlines can be tricky in any theater, especially a small one. Large hats, leaning far forward, or putting two heads together can unintentionally block someone's view. You don't need to sit at attention for two hours. Just occasionally remember that someone behind you is also trying to see the stage. It's one of those tiny courtesies that makes a big difference.

And because apparently this needs to be said: please keep your shoes on.

Yes. This one comes from experience. No further explanation should be necessary.

Mostly, just enjoy yourself.

Theater etiquette isn't really about a long list of rules. It's about remembering that live theater is something we experience together. The actors are aware of the audience. Audience members are aware of one another. Every person in the room contributes, in some small way, to what that particular performance feels like. That's actually one of my favorite things about theater. No two performances are exactly alike because no two audiences are exactly alike. One night the laughter is enormous. Another night you can practically feel the audience holding its breath. Sometimes the applause begins before the lights have even finished fading. For a couple of hours, a room full of strangers agrees to put away the outside world and enter another one together. So arrive with a little time to spare. Put away the phone. Unwrap the cough drop. Keep your shoes on. Then settle in, enjoy the show, and help us make a little magic together.